Men and Women, Sex and Orgasm

The Stroke

If you're stroking the upper left quadrant of the clitoral head, it's important that you use short strokes with your fingertip to produce the most intense sensation. Longer strokes tend to leave the spot and take the woman down. (It's okay to take her down, of course, but you want to do that deliberately.) Long strokes tend to travel over her hood or rub below her clitoris. This makes the woman doubt that the man knows where her spot is. Some women who have never been pleasured before might like this type of stroke, because they can appreciate any attention given to their clitorises. When you do use a longer stroke, do it deliberately, and realize that it's not the best method for taking someone higher (i.e. into deeper orgasmic experience). If you're not sure what spot you are on, take a break and look.

People like to be touched in a myriad of ways. Some like light touches, and others like firm pressure. You can be sure that the pressure they desire will not always remain the same. Women who can reach orgasm really easily have learned to do so with almost any pressure. It's a good idea to ask her what she likes. Some women don't know what they like, as they are inexperienced, and other women who do know still won't tell you. Some women even give you false information. You don't need to worry about this, however, if you touch her as if you were touching silk, velvet, or satin. When you touch these fabrics, you're not trying to make the cloth feel anything special. Instead, you are touching for the pleasure the fabric gives your hand. This way, you can feel sure that the touch feels good to her as well.

The best stroke for taking her up is short and on the upper left quadrant, with your thumb anchoring her clitoris. We call this basic stroke the bread-and-butter stroke. Besides being short and on the spot, it is almost a pinching motion. The finger and thumb maintain constant contact with the clitoris and don't let it slip away. We describe the stroke as being like picking a $100 bill off a bar (or if you don't drink alcohol, a juice bar). The clitoris is between two fingers and thus can't easily hide. The "pleasuring" finger can go to any part of the exposed clitoris and stroke with a repeated, dependable motion.

You'll want to continue stroking her clitoris while you stroke the inside of her vagina. The two hands stroking together can take her to wonderful peaks. Avoid her cervix, which is in the back of her vagina, and her urethral canal, which is up inside at the twelve o'clock position. You can use an in-and-out movement or press the pads of your fingers, with only slight movement, against the vaginal walls. Her vagina probably will be lubricated, so no further lubrication is necessary.

Here's a stroke that I like to use with my other hand: My two fingers (the index and middle) are spread, with their pads turned up, and I massage the clitoris from the inside by the G spot, at eleven and one o'clock. The thumb of that hand is outside, above the clitoris, exposing and anchoring the clitoris so that my pleasuring hand can reach it. Insertion can be a lot of fun, but the emphasis should still be on the clitoris.

You can also stimulate her anus with a finger, especially the little finger, when all your other fingers are in use. However, unless she has used an enema beforehand, don't move this finger from her anus to other areas, because the anus has many bacteria that could cause an infection. Some women also like to have their anuses stimulated from the inside with a finger. In this case, it's best to use lubricant. Ask questions, and proceed slowly and deliberately.

Sometimes there is no insertion at all. Insertion isn't necessary for a great orgasm with or without intercourse..

My main intention is to teach women to have - and men to give - great orgasms. Women have, after all, been getting men off since before the dawn of history. The world's "oldest profession" is about getting men off. There's very little information about getting women off though! Nonetheless, many of the techniques that we have described above (under "Pleasuring a Woman") can also be used to pleasure a man. This section explores some fun ideas for pleasuring a man. These include taking charge of his body, using light and slow strokes, touching a soft cock, playing with his hidden cock and scrotum, and cock sucking. We'll then give an example that will help you tie these techniques together.

Taking Charge

A turned-on woman has few problems giving a man pleasure. The biggest problem she'll encounter, probably, is getting him to lie still and be totally relaxed. A naked woman on a bed generally tends to resist at first, but once a man is naked on the bed, he is putty in your hands.

If you are pleasuring a man, you have to let him know that you are in charge and let him know what you are pleasuring. You can give him direct instructions, such as "Relax," "Stop moving your hips)" etc. Sometimes a woman rubs a man for an extended time without communicating. He wonders if she knows what she is pleasuring and when she will ejaculate him. It is very important to communicate to him that you have a plan and that when you are ready to have him ejaculate, you'll do so easily. Let him know that the goal isn't ejaculating in the future, but feeling the strokes that are occurring right now.

Continued here.

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